Laid

New year I decided that this year I want to get laid.

Who in the F blocks people from their actual friends so the friends don’t know you care either

They are so busy sitting there puzzled about where you have gone.

I want my man. This always happens. Damn.

You gave me all of it.

Lame

If this is one of those “Amanda thinks I’m crazy and Jenn agrees” situations there is going to be a problem.

Nah! This is happening with other famous people.

If you don’t know the whole story you need to stop making shit up.

Damn. Paddling pool!

Drowning kids. Purple and everything! Safe word.