Literally, after every sexual experience alone there is a mitigating aftercare experience necessary.
No matter what *I* try to do, if the subject is harder than sex alone (which I don’t quite comprehend to begin with) I steadily seek aftercare.
Scarily, or realistically, I have a habit of falling asleep right after an experience. However, that does not mean I do not feel the very lucid need to come back – from – the – wanted – abyss.
Aftercare – means something different for different people (which I have said before) and sometimes can be more important, and love-trust than the scene itself.
The initial necessity, is to get the submissive, – and the top even – to come up from the depths to which they have gone. This should not feel like a yoyo – if it does then one or a couple of the minds are potentially being jerked from one side to the next. –
Unless scenes are placed so close together the rapidity can be changed easily. (In order to do that, careful speaking through the disorder which may surmount, and reminders of love are paramount.) The submissive (bottom) or Sir/Ma’am go through a “drop” which can lead to perhaps depression, and further pain.
Favorite foods, sleep, naps, and loving cuddles with alone time mixed in help tons. This can be put into a list so the respective partner can emote it. Juice, crackers, and favorite blankets help. If the Bottom has a little side this can at times be a time to help also. Binkies, and Blankies are lovely.
No lies, also, that little time needs to digest the slope it has gone through. Tbh many Sir’s or Maam’s are down for little loving things in life after the mental workout (not to mention physical.) Sometimes exploring that littler side is good – what helps the little return to normal? Truthfully, the little has probably been more active than at others during the scene or evening’s activities.
Without this aftercare, the bottom (sub) and even the top (Dom) may become confused about the relationship. It is not dangerous, or a problem, there is just no closeness between heavy pain “letting” otherwise. Pain being just one of the things “let” during this time.
Switching gears is sometimes paramount, but can be incredibly scary for both sides. Make sure those gears are shifted slowly for both sides.
There is usually an in between space both can go to – for my Daddy, and I it is often a teenage/early 20’s space, but I like that space alone and with a few close family members. This usually included eating well, and card playing, and TV watching with blankets n everything. Nothing too heavy – good games, and relaxation.
Coming back to my boots on “work space” is easier when I get the attentive love I need in between.
Literally, it is better to slowly shift from one place to the other – ebbing, and flowing.- “Care for your partner -” get into the softness of attention – they will not thank you enough.