Although, this may be my way of saying things which due to medical science can be proven – sadly I feel the need to make a statement.
Understand, first, fiction non-fiction is that there is more than one side to every story (mostly.)
When I left the cardiologist’s office my blood pressure was 100/60 that’s low, but that was after a bash of cardio testing which proved that as of last year right before “Abandoned” my blood pressure was crashing. It hit 70 over who knows what on a tilt table earlier that day. When this happens I collapse.
This is a problem that needs to be solved, and unfortunately there may be no solution.
I have, contrary to popular belief, lived a poverse life up until now no one can take that from me, but I know where I live. I have suffered, but am stronger for the suffering. I fight, and I’m a fighter no one displaced mentally on the levels of accusation would fight like this.
However, now a head injury really has been found, so yeah not that I like to talk about it, this could mean anything, or could have meant anything not sure how long it has existed. This does mean scans of my head are being done.
Sadly, I have a neurology, (neuroscience) based physical illness – which is incredibly well marked, and minced with the scar on my chest – it was from a thymectomy at the age of 18, but now that I am nearing 40 unfortunately, the signs kick in again. Not on a small level. This illness Myasthenia Gravis is exasperated by mental trauma, part of life, please go easy. Stress is a major non-plus.
Various abusive (no not self inflicted) things have happened recently, but unfortunately some could not be helped. I have times where I do black out, and I am another me (but this we know.) The other “me’s” are there just to get through another day I know the word evil is thrown around, no, just, no.
My back has been in pieces for years, herniated discs etc, even scholiosis. Arthritis is huge, knees, back, etc. Accupuncture helps with pain along with natural cures. (Heroin is way way not my gig.)
Type two diabetes was diagnosed last year, but learning to cook well helped me keep it “under control” just watching what I eat has worked well, but I also lost a whole person safely.
Also, yeah leg surgeries, and cancer scare last year. I intend to leave behind a body of work, I am in fear now, but this is serious. Take it that way. I really mean that.
Anyway, now I have a mouth ulcer which scarily can be mentally reverse engineered back to the immune/auto deficient kelp (MG etc) I feel the need to just sit the fuck down, and rest. That means a lot lighter load. Bottom line.
I will be doing the normal, and not asking for help, you guys know me well enough to think positive, and non intrusive thoughts. Its not like you don’t know what you should do. Do the right thing – you never really know.